Not all players score big off the field

He dribbles. He shoots. Touchdown? Doesn't make sense, right?

Neither does the logic of guys from nearly every category: preppy, nerdy, hipster, you name it. But one type confuses me most: college athletes.

With cameras and reporters in their faces and thousands of sports fans behind them, local college athletes have been injected with a small dose of fame. But some abuse the label of "star athlete" to obtain privileges most people aren't allowed, and they get away with it. How is that fair?

After a few embarrassing run-ins, I've come to the conclusion that some of these boys are better suited behind the free-throw line. Once they step off the court and approach a girl, it's as if every under-the-leg "slamma-jamma" is the only "game" in their playbook.

The best line I heard came from a Mizzou football player. We made eye contact while I was jogging. He walked toward me and said, "You know me." Simple as that. Not a question, a statement.

I fell in love, we made out and we're getting married next month.

Kidding! That would never happen. "You know me"? What kind of conversation starter is that? Granted, I've watched sports with my dad since I was young. Of course, I knew who he was. Your point, dude?

I said to him, "Oh, so just because you're a big-shot football star who picks up a few yards every game, I'm supposed to swoon at the sight of your muscular arms and chiseled six-pack?"

What actually happened was I looked at him with the most innocent face and said, "No. Uhh, I don't. I don't think we've met."

His next set of striking words: "I play football."

With my eyes wide and a big smile, I said, "Oh, really? Just for fun?"

This is where his frustration set in. His forehead furrowed as if it drained all his energy to explain himself.

"No, I play football for Mizzou."

Pause.

This is the turning point, your reaction will determine the rest of the conversation, the rest of the game.

For most girls, this is the moment where the athlete puts the first points on the scoreboard.

"Oh-em-gee! You play football? So, you're like on TV and stuff? My dad LOVES you!" All the while, your dad is a Kansas fan. Six points to Mr. Tiger Football.

Why girls swoon over the idea that college athletes are college athletes, it baffles me. Yeah, they have nice muscles and are on ESPN, but what does that have to do with you? Think about it.

Melendy Forman, second-year theater major, works at Kobe Japanese Steak House in Columbia where a basketball player approached her asking where he should party that night.

"You have to know where a good party is," he told her. "You're cute. I bet you get offered to go to parties all the time."

Why do they use cheesy lines like this? I feel like if you play college basketball, you have to maintain some sort of intelligence to memorize and execute every play.

How is it you have more game on the court than off?

Forman said athletes believe they are famous in our community and can get away with stuff not many others could.

"A lot of girls are ‘jersey-chasers' and would like to date or hook up with these guys for their status," she said. "Because there are girls like this, the (athletes) assume everyone would want to get with them."

If that's the case, then I can't really blame the athletes for the way they act. Fortunately, not every athlete has a big ego.

Molly Brobst, pre-vet and biology major at Kansas State University, was working at a coffee shop on her campus when a seven-foot mass approached her.

"He was asking me my name and major, but he spoke really quietly," she said. "I don't know if it's because he felt awkward because of his height or just because he's awkward in general. He didn't own it and act like he was in power by any means like I thought all athletes portrayed."

Forman agreed, saying, "It's a hit and miss. You meet some pretty amazing people who have good heads on their shoulders and future plans other than just the sport they play, but you also meet some cocky, annoying guys."

And, that's just it. In that turning point, as soon as he mentions that he plays a college sport, it's up to you. You have the ball with three seconds left, and the game is in overtime. What are you going to do?

Yeah, I knew exactly who he was. It's commendable he has enough talent to play at the college level, but that has nothing to do with me. I want to meet someone who can make me smile when I'm upset, take me out on a date every once in a while and has some realistic ambitions in life — and it wouldn't hurt if he had a bit of muscle.

But, if you ask a guy about himself and he hands you a two-digit number from a jersey instead of "I'm studying engineering" or "I'm from St. Louis," that's your red flag.

That two-digit number is his "golden ticket" into every aspect of his life — school, bars, girls' hearts. Don't let him use that pass on you, too. Just because he's handed almost everything else, doesn't mean you have to fall into his grasp, too.