Cliques a normal part of socialization

The jocks, the preps, the hippie/ hipsters, the princesses, the nerds, and the band geeks all have one thing in common, they are all cliques.

A clique is simply a small group of friends or associates with similar interests. But why does the word clique automatically trigger negative connotations among most people?

It could have something to do with traumatic personal high school experiences or because of movies like Mean Girls with harsh beauties like "the Plastics." No matter how much you try and deny it, however, everyone cliques, and it's not always a bad thing. Here are three reasons why:

— First, it is our natural instinct as human beings to group up with people who are like us.

For example, little Katie is 5 years old and it is her first day of kindergarten. At lunch she gets a little nervous because she hasn't made a friend yet, and has no one to sit with. That is until she spots two other little girls with pink Hannah Montana lunch boxes, just like hers. She then sits by them and they start to sing Hannah Montana's greatest hits. Instantly, Katie has made two friends or forms a "clique."

According to teenshealth.org, "Groups can form around things people have in common. So jocks, goths, preps, skaters and even the math club are naturally drawn together because they share similar interests.

The people in these groups feel they have a place where they are welcome and supported, and where they can be themselves, quirks and all."

Whatever the common interest, if we can find someone that does it too, we feel connected and that person is more likely to become a friend.

— Second, we simply like to be right.

To me, cliques make sense, for the simple fact that we like to be right and we like for others to tell us we are right.

Therefore, if we are around a group of people who believe what we say is true, that makes us feel good and we befriend them.

For instance, if I say "Noodle is the funniest word in the English language." And a second person says, "That's true, I also believe noodle is the funniest word in the English language," then I would feel pretty good about myself and have a discussion with that other person about the word noodle, making a clique of noodle lovers.

The point is all cliques aren't teenage girls trying to make another teenage girl's life miserable.

It is my belief that if we look at belonging to a clique as having a close knit group of friends instead of having a close knit group of friends for the sole purpose of belittling others, then a clique would not be as frowned upon.

We like to feel that our opinions are valid and that there are others in the world that feel the same way.

— Third, cliques make us comfortable.

There is no reason to spend your free personal time with people with whom you have no common interest. If anything, cliques help people relax more because they are around people who understand their personality.

We all know how it feels to sit and have lunch with people with whom you have nothing in common. It is very awkward and there is little to no conversation.

According to thesite.org, "Cliques provide a sense of belonging to their members, a source of support protection from other cliques and boosts members' self-esteem by making them feel wanted."

If we are around people we understand and vice versa, there is more verbal communication and we don't have to force conversation on meaningless topics like the weather.

All and all, cliques are natural, and that's how it is now and how it is always going to be. We respond to those who are like us because that's how we, as humans, are comfortable.

So don't be ashamed if you hang out with the same three or four people all the time and others call you a clique.

Knowing the characteristics that make you a good friend as well as those that make the people around you good friends are far more important than what anyone else thinks.